


leave no trace

by bazaroff



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Album: folklore (Taylor Swift), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst and Smut, Car Sex, F/M, Hate me but don't like hate me hate me y'know, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, Mind the Tags, No HEA, Reminder to mind the tags, Sex in a Car, Songfic, Super Angst, Tears feed my soul, This was written with my tears, Unhappy Ending, You've been warned, did i say i'm sorry?, family pressure, illicit affairs, unhappy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26095576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazaroff/pseuds/bazaroff
Summary: A Folklore SongficRey bent down, lacing her shoes before getting ready to walk out the door.“Poe?” she called up the stairs. “I’ll be back in a few hours!” She thought she heard him call a response, but she didn’t care enough to clarify what it had been.Walking out the front door, she drew her hood over her hair, neatly tied back in two French braids. She was used to this routine by now: hood over head, eyes down. To the normal passerby, no one would mistake that she was out for a run.Don't call me "kid," don't call me "babyLook at this idiotic fool that you made meYou taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone elseAnd you know damn wellFor you, I would ruin myselfA million little timesIllicit Affairs by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, minor - Relationship
Comments: 38
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

Rey bent down, lacing her shoes before getting ready to walk out the door. 

“Poe?” she called up the stairs. “I’ll be back in a few hours!” She thought she heard him call a response, but she didn’t care enough to clarify what it had been. 

Walking out the front door, she drew her hood over her hair, neatly tied back in two French braids. She was used to this routine by now: hood over head, eyes down. To the normal passerby, no one would mistake that she was out for a run. 

Each time she had left the hotel, she reminded herself that she could stop at any time. Moments before they would leave for their separate lives, they would promise each other that it was the last time. Believing it was easier to face than the truth: that she was hopelessly in love with a man she couldn’t have. 

Beautiful rooms soon turned into clandestine meetings in the backseat of his Range Rover. Now here she was, a few blocks away, and on her way to his office, prepared to shag him in the parking lot. She had just arrived when she felt her phone buzz with what was sure to be him. 

| Ben | _Car’s parked in the southeast corner._ _U_ _nder the maple. How close are you?_

Her lips tipped up as she read the message. Shooting off a quick reply before letting her eyes scan over the rows, seeking out the sleek black vehicle. Her heart began racing with anticipation as she found it exactly where he implied. Picking up her pace, Rey followed the path to the unlocked SUV, throwing her bag into the front seat. She shut the door, shifting to open the rear before climbing in back.

She began to kick off her sneakers before working to pull the sweatshirt up and over her head. It's not like he could disappear from the office for too long, so no reason to waste his time in stripping her fully.

Just as the garment was coming over her head she felt it catch, ripping at the strands that were tightly woven against her scalp. Countless expletives ran through her mind as she sat, bound with her arms contorted and crossed overhead, wiggling as she sent out a silent plea that it might release. The plea quickly turned into another curse when the car door opened and a deep chuckle could be heard.

“You know, this might be the most tempting position I've seen you in, sweetheart.”

Rey let out a deep sigh. “Oh, hush.” Shifting backwards, she attempted to allow space for his large stature to join her. “Get in here and help me. Please, Ben; I think it’s stuck on a bobby pin.”

He hummed, attempting to hide another chuckle as she felt the leather of the seats stretch and shift beneath her leg as he made his way inside, shutting the door behind him. Breath catching as calloused fingertips slid across her shoulders before working their way to her neck and rolling under the edge of the hoodie. They deftly began weaving through her tresses, searching for the bobby pin that was holding her captive. 

Catching it, the tension at her scalp gave way, and Ben reached to help bring the garment over her head, leaving her clad in only the athletic bra. Vision relinquished to her once more, she startled to find his face only a hair's breadth from her own. Discarding the sweater behind him, he raised a hand to cup her cheek, and Rey released the breath she hadn’t known she had been holding. 

Staring into the deep caramel of his eyes, she pushed forward to close the distance, nose clumsily knocking his as she extended her fingers into the inky waves framing his face. Swiping her tongue across his lower lip, she growled when he wouldn’t grant her entrance and nipped it in frustration.

A breathy gasp escaped his lips. “Hungry little thing, aren’t you, today.”

Rey pulled away, raising an eyebrow. “Benjamin, are you complaining?”

She watched as his lip twitched in a hint of a smirk. “Sweetheart, at least remove my jacket before you continue to treat me like prey.”

Rey pushed back from him. “C’mon!” He stared at her in bewilderment before she spoke again. “Strip, Sir.” 

She watched as his irises were swallowed in black depths, pupils dilating at the single syllable, a small whimper released from his throat. Seconds later, he was fighting to remove the perfectly tailored jacket that Rey was sure cost more than her rent, working it off his toned arms before discarding it haphazardly into the driver’s seat. Ben hadn’t even unlatched two buttons on his dress shirt before she had lost all patience, driving herself into his space once more. 

She felt feral, fighting every urge to growl but _seriously_ , fuck the shirt. He could go back to the office a wrinkled mess for all she cared. Let his coworkers know he was ravaged in the back seat of his fancy car during lunch. She hadn’t seen him in two weeks, and heaven knew she wasn’t planning to fuck Poe during that hiatus. She made do, though; her vibrator was a sore reminder of what she was missing while he was away.

Throwing one leg over his hips, she climbed onto his lap, forcing him to accommodate her, hips shifting as his shoulders fell flat against the quilted leather. 

She swatted away his hands that were still fighting buttons, opting instead to tear the hem from where it was tucked beneath his belt. She was very aware of the bulge growing beneath her, wiggling ever so slightly, hoping he would give into the same impatience she had surrendered to long ago.

Rey pulled the buckle from its bind, hands fumbling to release the button on his slacks, loosening them just enough so she could work them down his thighs from underneath her.

Ben settled his hands on her hips, beginning to thumb at the waistband of her leggings. He steadied her, forcing her squirming to subside as he raised her chin with a finger, beckoning her gaze meet his own. He gave his head a slight tilt, ducking slightly, almost as though he could see into her mess of a head if he found just the right angle.

“Hey, Rey, slow down. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Ben,” She released a heavy sigh. “I know. _I know_.” Rey felt her throat tighten suddenly to her frustration. She didn’t want to think. Only feel. “Right now I need to just need to be reminded. Can you do that?” Rey willed him to read the desperation in her eyes. She needed this. Needed him. Her life was falling apart more rapidly each and every day, the clock counting down her loss of freedom.

She watched as the switch flipped, his eyes searching her face as he found the understanding he needed. He provided her only a small nod before flipping their weight, taking her by surprise as a small gasp escaped her. 

This tender man who worshiped her body had swiftly pushed her from his lap, forcing her back to fall flat against the seat. Ben wasted no time, ripping the tight fabric that he had been thumbing only moments before, down her waist and under her hips. He let out a breath slip between his teeth as the fabric caught around her thighs, hissing with the revelation that she wore nothing beneath. She had had to learn the hard way that it wasn’t worth it to drop disgusting amounts of money each month on lingerie when he inevitably tore them from her skin.

Taking a moment to recover, he continued his work to tear them down past her ankles, removing the offending garment completely. Ben dragged her into a sitting position before grasping her hips to draw her to his lap once again. He didn’t spare a breath before he grasped behind her nape, tearing a soft whine from the back of her throat as he devoured her. She felt him buck up, too many layers between them to allow the penetration she desired. The movement provided her minor relief to the throbbing ache at her core before it quickly returned, begging for more. 

Letting her body take over, she drowned out the neverending barrage of worries, mind grateful for the reprieve. She shifted back toward his knees, reaching between them to dip her fingers through the waistband of his briefs. Rey ran her fingers over his firm length before taking him in hand fully to remove him from the prison of black cotton, not wasting the precious moments to rid him of them completely. She let his cock spring up against his abdomen, trailing her thumb over the swollen head glistening with a bead of precum. Slowly pumping her fist around him, Ben released a groan, letting his head tip back against the leather headrest. The noise was tantalizing and she was too far gone, the array of moans she was eliciting from him provoking her to begin her pursuit, rolling her hips drag him inside. Resistance slowed her movements, body crying to work herself more, but she gave into the burning friction, feeding the overwhelming desire coursing through her. She began to lift her body only to fall back down, pulling him deeper. Shallow thrusts quickly morphed as her body opened and slicked itself to accept him.

Rey allowed them a moment once she found herself fully seated on his cock, body adjusting to the overwhelming stretch. It was expected, considering she hadn’t let him wreck her body for far too long. Tucking her face into his neck, she nudged the taut skin with the tip of her nose, eyelashes fluttering against his collarbone as he brought a hand up to comb through her hair. His tenderness just reminded her of what she was losing, and she fought the tightness in her throat. Looping her fingers up his neck she began to tug at the dark tendrils that had begun to cling there from the moisture beading on his skin.

She dug her nails into his scalp lightly, tearing a grunt from his throat as she felt his cock twitch from within her. She writhed in his lap, begging him to move as her body screamed for the grinding friction from his girth that she loved so much. He took the permission she granted him, fingers clawing at her hips while she braced her arms across his back with a hand on each shoulder. 

She felt the nails break her skin as he pulled her body up, slamming her down upon him once again. Rey knew she would be graced with a new constellation of bruises tomorrow. She often was after their escapades, and she’d invested in filthy expensive cosmetics to combat the neverending fight to hide the evidence. Her body unwilling to be starved of the pleasure that sting fed, bringing her closer to the summit. 

She could feel his skin growing balmy with the effort of each thrust he gave her, snapping his hips up to meet hers as he ripped her down. His grunts echoing her own moans as she felt him dragging inside her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. His head bumping her cervix and the pain morphing into endless pleasure, as she fought her body's control, begging for release.

She pulled her face away from where it was buried in his neck, head rolling back as she arched her naked frame, bringing herself closer to his musclucar form. The curve to her spine changed the angle and delicious drag as she rolled her hips from above him. She felt Ben release her shoulders, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her tighter to him, littering kisses in a path down from neck to collarbone.

“Sweetheart, I can’t last much longer.” The words came out raspy, muffled against the skin of her bosom as he continued to mouth at her skin.

“Ben--” she gasped out. “Please--”

Releasing one arm, he dragged his long fingers between them, seaking the swollen bead at the apex of her thighs. Ben began to roll his fingers over it with a brutal pace, never relenting his thrusts into her. One moment her body was taut, fighting to crest over the peak, and the next everything slowed, body jerking with her climax as her body began to clench around him, milking him to find his release as well. With a groan she felt his pace stutter, silencing himself as he bit into her shoulder. Rey released a wail, the pain of it drowning out quickly in the ecstasy of her orgasm. 

She felt his jaw release as he pulled away, beginning to pepper kisses over the new half moons to be found there. Ben released a small curse before raising a hand to push away damp strands of hair that were obscuring his view from the damage he caused.

He pulled her tighter in a hug as she collapsed against him, face once again falling to his shoulder as he began to soften within her. Her skin felt like it was on fire, every nerve dancing with sensitivity as though she had lightning coursing through her veins.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I should’ve been more careful.” Ben let out in a sigh, and she felt him nuzzle her temple, “I missed you sweetheart.” He brought his hand once again to thread through her hair, attempting to calm her trembling figure.

She equated the tremors to post-orgasm bliss until she felt him pull her face from his neck, a hand coming up to cup her face as he began so swipe at her cheek with his thumb. It came away glistening, obviously wet, as he removed his hand. She watched as Ben wiped the tear on his slacks, before tucking himself back under the waistband and fastening the button. 

_Huh._ _When had she started crying?_ She turned her gaze up to find his eyes drowning in pity, which sent her spiraling into wholehearted sobs, chest wracking as she struggled to breathe. 

Ben exhaled softly before collecting her in his arms once again, pulling her in a tight embrace. She sobbed, succumbing to the overwhelming sense of dread that came with knowing her life, and her choices, would never be her own. Rey struggled to breathe, chest heaving as he continued to hold her and whisper reassurances in her ear until the sobs subsided, kissing the crown of her head. He unwound their tangle of limbs, pulling away to grab his jacket from the driver’s seat, exiting the vehicle and shutting the door behind him. Her anxiety reached its peak as she watched him begin to pull the dark fabric on, brain screaming that he was about to leave her alone, returning to his cushy office.

The dress shirt stretched tight across his muscular back as he raised an arm overhead, large hand fighting to reach the opening before pulling the jacket over his shoulder to loop the other arm through. She released a bated breath when she saw him pull his phone from his pocket, leaning back against the car before raising it to his ear. His voice came through muffled, just barely able to make out the conversation.

“Hux, something came up.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Yes, I will be taking the rest of the day off.” Rey saw his head tip back, but just watched, her mouth slightly agape, stunned at the words coming from his mouth. “ _Yes, I understand we have that presentation on Thursday._ It’ll be done.” 

Rey shifted, attempting to limit her eavesdropping as she began to pull on her leggings, lifting her hips to shimmy the tight fabric over her ass, careful to avoid the sensitive skin where Ben’s nails had cut in. She cringed when she remembered she still had his cum dripping out of her and nothing to clean it up with. _Maybe no underwear wasn’t the brightest idea._ She accepted her fate, ignoring the fabric growing wet between her thighs, as she reached into the front seat for her discarded hoodie. As she began working at the laces of her sneakers, Ben wrapped up his conversation. She pulled the knots tight before silently pulling herself over the center console and into the front passenger seat. She was too scared to pull down the visor to see the damage she had done to herself in the mirror. She knew she looked a mess, both post-sex and post-meltdown. _What the hell was wrong with her?_ Pulling one foot up onto the seat, she wrapped her arms around it before beginning to nervously bite at the skin surrounding her nails. 

The driver’s door clicked open, and she watched as Ben pulled himself into the vehicle before he silently started the car, pulling it out of the parking lot and onto the service drive. They made it a few miles when Rey startled at the feeling of his hand slipping to rest on her thigh where one foot was still planted firmly on the ground. Rather than turning to face him, she looked out the window, tears straining to be released as she cast her gaze up, blinking rapidly as though she could pull them back in.

His tenderness had always been overwhelming, usually in a good way. She had never had someone who cared for her like the way he did. The first few months that her grandfather sent Poe to court after her were sweet; the occasional flowers or nice dinner. But it began to feel transactional, the conversations were lacking, and they only had sex to avoid the conversations.

When she met Ben it had been a breath of fresh air. She couldn’t remember exactly when the switch flipped, an innocent friendship growing into something far greater. Ben cared for her soul, always working to ensure she remembered she was his equal. He knew all her flaws and accepted them anyway. Rey wasn’t scared when she was with him. 

What was truly terrifying with the idea that she would have to lose him eventually.

It didn’t take long for them to reach his townhouse. She didn’t move, waiting as he pulled himself out of the vehicle, coming around to open her door. It had taken him scolding her a few times before she eventually learned to let him open the door for her. The first time he’d shaken his head with a low chuckle. “My mother would send me to an early grave if I didn’t.”

Door cracking open, Ben held out his hand, helping her shift before placing his hands at her waist to lift her down and out of the vehicle. The car sat high off the ground and too many times she had lost her balance, almost face-planting into the asphalt. One time he went to catch her, and took a flailing limb to his groin. She wasn’t allowed to climb out without assistance after that mishap.

Feet firmly on the ground, she took his hand again, lacing her fingers through his as he led her up the front steps. Making their way inside the foyer, Rey toed off her shoes and padded across the hardwood floor to flop into one of the island chairs. Crossing her arms on the countertop before her, she hunched over, chin coming to rest upon her wrists. 

From the corner of her eye, she watched as Ben made his way over to the kitchen as well, walking around the island and to the range, grabbing the tea kettle that was sitting there. He turned to face her, bringing it to fill at the island sink before returning it to its place on the burner. He lit the stove, then made his way to the pantry cabinet, pulling out three small tea boxes, that empty pang hitting her heart again. They were one of the many things he purchased in order to provide her comfort. Rey had never seen the man drink anything but coffee before her, and now he had packed those boxes full. She loved his excitement when he found a new flavor he thought she may enjoy, gracing her with the same reaction each time. His rare goofy smile, crooked teeth and corners of his eyes creasing as his face transformed into pure joy over something as simple as making her happy.

He set the box on the island, giving the stack a slight push so that it would glide over to her. She raised her hand just enough to stop the offending object from taking a nose dive to the floor, tipping the lid to examine the contents. Raising her head, she gave him a small nod and a forced smile. “Thank you.”

He hummed his response, leaning back against the cabinet, watching quietly as she made her selection. Rey pulled out the small envelope of chamomile before pushing the boxes back to him, Ben plucking out his own selection before turning to pull two mugs from the cabinet behind him, placing them on the island in front of them.

“Ben, I--”

“Shhh.” He interrupted her and she gave him an incredulous stare, eyebrows raising. Before she could scold him, he held up a hand to silence her. “We can talk after I get you tea. For now, just breathe.”

She did as he said, focused on steadying her breath, trying to rely on the box technique he had taught her. Emotions were lulling, and Rey began to play with the tag hanging from the mug that now sat in before her. The loud squeal of the kettle forced her gaze to snap up to meet his, unaware that his had already been on her. He broke away, turning to switch the burner off, bringing the kettle over to fill her mug.

After both mugs were full, steam rolling up and over the rim, she watched as he hunched over the counter, settling his weight in his crossed firearms. Pointedly, he threw a glance at her mug, returning to her gaze and quirking an eyebrow.

Rey let out a heavy sigh, picking up the mug to indulge him. “Satisfied?”

“You know I'm never satisfied when you are upset, Rey.” His normally impassive face morphed into a scowl, almost as though she had insulted him. “What happened back there?”

Averting her gaze, she looked past the dining room, through the large bay windows. _Huh, it had begun to rain._ She pulled the mug back to her lips, buying herself time to ignore his question, instead focusing on the sweet honey that was tinting the earthy tones. She closed her eyes as they danced across her tongue, granting her some semblance of peace before she ruined that feeling with words. _God, she hated talking_. Her eyes snapped open at the rapping of his knuckles against the counter, begging for her answer.

She looked to the window once more, unable to meet his stare. “Poe.”

He let out a sigh. “What about him, Rey.”

Face turning, she found his eyes had never left her figure, the haunted look in their depths mirrored her own. “I can’t do it, Ben.” Keeping her face stoic, she willed him to understand her level of sincerity.

“Rey, you can’t throw away everything you’ve worked for--”

“You mean everything my grandfather has worked for.” She was disgusted that she even had to make the distinction with him.

“It’s your family's legacy; it falls on your shoulders too--” 

He caught himself too late, and Rey watched as he flinched at his own words, recognition of his error sinking quickly. The trigger was already pulled, he couldn’t turn back time and change them. The last thing she wanted was to have this fight again; always the same, the pain stabbing deeper each time.

Color quickly rose to heat her face. “Don’t you _dare_ talk to me about accepting family legacy!” She was rounding the counter in only a moment, stabbing her finger into his chiseled chest. “You abandoned yours! Don’t tell me how freeing it was and then preach to me that I can’t do the same!” she spat out.

She watched his brow furrow, chin moving as he began working his mouth, looking down at her as he towered over her. She watched his Adam’s apple bob, swallowing tightly, always a textbook definition of composure, armor impossible to crack, yet she saw the moment his frustration began to bleed through, seeping through the facade as it began to paint his face red.

“Look, kid--”

 _Oh, for fuck’s sake_. “Fuck you, Benjamin! _Jesus-_ - _”_ She spoke in a rush from exasperation, spinning to turn away from him as she ripped at the messy braids in her head. Rey was dumbfounded at his audacity, shaking her head wildly as she turned back to face him. “ _Fuck!_ How patronizing can you be?”

“What do you want from me, Rey?!” his tone rising to match hers, eyes red-rimmed and glassy.

“I want you to fight for me!” Rey screamed, voice reaching a fever pitch, floodgates opening. “I want you to fight for me, Ben.” The words broke as she struggled to contain her sobs. “Tell me not to marry him. Ask me to stay.”

Rey watched as his tears began to stream down his cheeks. Watched as he began to shake his head, squeezing his eyes tight, before ripping them open to meet hers gaze unflinchingly. “I can’t. I won’t do that, Rey.”

She always imagined that having her heart broken would feel as though it were shattering. _What a fucking joke_. It felt as though someone had decided to forge it, thrusting it into open flames. Melted down only to be ripped from the heat and struck over and over as each word hit home. 

Rey sunk to her knees in front of him. Burying her face in her palms as her wails wracked her body. She felt his presence sink to the floor in front of her before she felt his warm embrace as he began to gather her wilted figure in his arms. She fought against his grip, fists pounding on his chest as she tried to push him away. He held on firmly, taking every blow until she began to tire, losing her will to fight. Letting her fingers curl into the soft material of his dress shirt, Rey clutched Ben tightly as she brought her arms to twine around his neck, burying the sobs there. Soaking his collar with tears, the black of her makeup bled onto the white, the light began to succumb to the dark. Ben was shaking as well, fighting to rein in his own emotions, but not allowing his grip to loosen. She was his lifeline, just as he was hers. 

What was sure to have only been minutes felt like hours, and he began to shift, pulling back to rest a hand on her cheek, thumbing at the tears still trailing down her cheeks. The hand pushed back to grasp the base of her skull, pulling her forward to place his own tear-stained kiss on her forehead. The moment she felt his lips leave her skin, Rey sucked in a strained breath, working to settle her breathing as she closed her eyes. _Maybe if she couldn’t see it, it wouldn’t be real._

He pulled her to him, the embrace whispering darkly that there weren’t many of these left to be had. Ben shifted his weight to his heels, giving her a small squeeze before releasing to pull himself from the floor, rising to his full height and holding out a hand to help her up.

Looking at it, she was scared to take it. Scared of what came after. Rey sniffled once more, wiping at her tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, face twisting with horror as it came away black. “Shit.”

“Your makeup wipes are still in the bathroom if you want to clean up.”

With a small nod, she rose, pulling herself from the floor to make her way toward the ensuite that housed her things on the rare occasion she stayed with him. Shutting the door, she locked it before collapsing against it, head tipping back and closing her eyes. Three deep breaths and she dragged herself away from it and toward the vanity, breath catching when she noticed the perfume bottle on the countertop. The small little clear bottle sparkled in the light as she picked it up, thumbing at the label with a smile. 

She remembered the day they spent picking it out. Ben had told her to buy whatever made her happy. She narrowed it down to a few but noticed how his eyes lingered on the little Tom Ford bottle, its fragrance of suede and saffron. The little bottle that had made her heart palpitate when she noticed the cost.

Sniffling, she set the bottle down, looking up to the mirror as she ran the back of her hand under her nose. _Yikes, what a godforsaken mess she’d become._ Strands of hair that had escaped their knots, and the tracks her tears had formed were highlighted by the missing foundation and running mascara. Eyes swollen and cheeks puffy, she began to withdraw into herself, forcing her focus to the task at hand.

Rey turned to the medicine cabinet and pulled open the door to remove the small blue package. She made quick work of the mess that was her face, and began to unravel her hair that was demanding to be worked back into some semblance of structure. Just as she had begun twining the braid, a knock at the door startled her, dropping the strands and destroying her progress.

“Rey?” The words came out soft, muffled by the partition between them. “Can I do anything?”

Rather than answer, Rey walked the short distance to the door, opening it to find his wet, dull eyes staring down at her. He had lost his own will to fight, evident by the droop of his shoulders and slight tremble of his chin.

Rey shrunk back and away from the door, allowing him to make his way inside. She nervously pulled her lip between her teeth, unsure of where they stood now. She turned her gaze away before speaking. “Would you fix my hair?” She allowed her eyes to flicker over him again as he entered the space before sheepishly diverting her attention to her bare feet on the tiled floor. “You’re better at braiding than me.”

That seemed to break the tension, and he let out a wet chuckle, clearing his throat before stepping in front of her. He placed a hand on each shoulder to turn her toward the vanity, leading her forward so that she stood under the bright lights. In the mirror she watched as he began to comb her loose waves through his fingers, fighting the tangles so he could begin his work. Once he was content, Ben meticulously began to pull the strands into the ornate designs he knew she loved, long fingers dexterous as though he were playing an instrument. Rey closed her eyes, damp lashes fighting and failing to contain her tears as they streamed down once more.

She held out the elastics after he completed each side, letting him capture the tendrils before they escaped. He replaced the few spare bobby pins to smooth a few flyaways, placing his hands on her shoulders once he finished, falling forward to rest his cheek on the crown of her head. 

Rey’s heart was aching, wanting nothing more than to turn around and bury herself in his chest again. She wanted to be brave enough to leave her family's company. To break off her engagement to a man she had never loved. To sacrifice everything for the only true love she ever felt. He knew damn well she would ruin herself a million little times--if only he would let her.

Ben painted her world full of colors she couldn’t see with anyone else. He understood her more than anyone else ever had, speaking a secret language in stolen glances and gestures.

Rey opened her eyes, looking at the reflection of the man she would never be able to call hers. He was curled around her figure, though his arms had traveled from her shoulders to wrap around her. His face was still obscured slightly by her hair, but he looked so defeated, and she couldn’t fix it. They both knew what was between them was about to die, and neither was willing to follow the funeral procession. 

_But they had to._ With a sigh, Rey crossed a hand over her chest, bringing it to grasp at his forearm draped over her shoulder. “Ben?” He lifted his cheek to meet her stare in the mirror. “Can you take me home?”

She kept her eyes clear on him as he gave a small nod, unwinding himself from her with a small squeeze to her shoulders and turned on his heel to stride from the bathroom. Just as he was stepping through the doorway, he rested a hand on the jamb, keeping his back to her as he spoke. His voice was flat, monotone: “Take as long as you need. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

She nodded, though she knew he couldn’t see. Turning back to the vanity, Rey picked up the small perfume bottle one more time, longing to take it with her. Something so simple that no one would question, but a forever reminder of him. 

No matter how much she desired to, she knew she couldn’t. Her heart would never leave him if she had traces of him floating around, an echo of what could have been. Turning to open the medicine cabinet, she placed the perfume on the shelf, leaving it behind. Rey hoped it would remind him of her, as selfish as it was.

She left the bathroom, heading straight past the kitchen and to the foyer to pull on her sneakers. When she stood up, he was already there, coat on, keys in hand. They looked into each other’s eyes, too scared to say a word as they turned toward the door together, making their way to his car. The drive was silent, this time for different reasons. Neither knew what to say or how to say goodbye, so they just--chose not to. 

His car pulled up a couple blocks from the townhouse she shared with Poe, parking alongside the curb. Just like he had earlier, he exited the vehicle to help her. His hands lingered on her waist this time, refusing to move away, and the revelation hit her. _They would never do this again._ Her throat began to tighten for the umpteenth time that day. 

Ben could see it in her eyes and he gave her a sad smile, cupping her cheek as he always did. “Can’t let those eyes get red again, sweetheart.”

She choked on a laugh, smile only lasting a moment “Ben, I--”

“I know Rey. I know.” He dropped his head to rest his forehead against hers, “Me too. Always.”

He gave her a soft kiss, lips lingering in a whisper of all the great memories they could’ve shared. The big house in the country, the three children running across the yard, and the endless love that they would have given one another.

She closed her eyes before pulling away, pretending she wasn’t leaving it all behind. Turning around, she began to walk the two blocks home, numb, ignoring the sound of gravel crunching beneath his tires as he left her for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi <3
> 
> How are you? You doing okay? Ya, me neither.
> 
> I love you all and than you so much for reading, and sticking through to the end. Feel free to leave me hate mail in the comments as long as you don't like actually hate me. I might regret this ask, but too late now. 
> 
> You can find my on twitter [here!](https://twitter.com/Bazaroff23) I'd love friends!
> 
> Thanks for all kudos and comments, I love y'all so so much.


	2. LNT Extended Sequel

HELLO HELLO!

Still mad at me?  
I have good news. or bad depending on how you take it, but I am officially working on a follow up to 'leave no trace'.

When I published this little one-shot two months ago, I never expected to have cared so deeply about this specific Ben and Rey as much as I do. I was heartbroken at their lack of HEA. I tried to find it so many times but it felt forced and I couldn't do that to these characters. After publishing and hearing from some of my readers, I began thinking maybe I could do another one-shot for how they met, or do Ben's POV of the breakup, or Ben's aftermath, something _more_ but still not forcing a HEA.

This has been stewing in my brain these last few months. It's been distracting me from my other projects, and with the perfect song and a little push from a friend, I found my HEA. Since then, I have also found an additional 19 songs and an entire story of where they came from, where they go from here, and how they find each other once again.

This is my heads up to past and future readers. If you'd like to go on this journey with me, make sure to subscribe or follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/bazaroff_) for updates <3 

I cannot wait to share this story with all of you, thank you for your endless support and love.

xoxo Andi (bazaroff)

P.S. This is my Nano project, and I hope to get it completed in the month of November but this is the biggest project I've ever tackled! Once the story is finished, I'll be posting weekly updates.


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